You are in the middle of a serious discussion with your teenager as the phone rings. It is your father telling you he is worried about your mother because she hasn't been feeling well for a few days. Does this sound familiar? As we live longer a whole new generation has developed, known as the "Sandwich Generation" This is the group of adults who find themselves caught between caring for aging parents and raising children.
It is important to be aware of what assistance is available to you.
For the parents:
If you have a parent that has become less steady and perhaps a bit more frail but is refusing to leave their home or apartment you can find some peace of mind by using a service, which for a minimal fee will provide the senior with a necklace that is hooked up to a monitoring station as well as direct phone access. This will allow the individual to get immediate help should they fall or otherwise need aid. There are also senior services which will call daily to ensure that all is well. It is important for seniors to ensure that all their daily nutrient requirements are met. If this is a stress for you then consider services such as "Meals on Wheels" or meals that need minimal preparation such as frozen foods or ready to eat meals.
If you are concerned about decreasing health in your parent it may be time to consider an assisted living environment such as a retirement home or nursing home.
Remember if you reach stress levels that are causing you to become physically ill emotionally exhausted you are of no use to your loved ones! Consider support groups for care givers where you may find fresh ideas as well as an outlet for your pent up frustrations.
For the teens:
You have given all you have to the raising of your wonderful, kind and gentle children only to find that they have been kidnapped and replaced by the teenager. These are individuals who know everything (often they wonder how you survived without their help), have a unique fashion sense (you realize you have none) and expect you to meet any and all demands they have. Relax, this is a temporary situation which will only last until their twenties. Now, how to survive it you ask.
It is important to have a support system that can help you cope by providing fresh ideas and a sounding board for all the fears and concerns you have about your child. Communication is immensely important and most communities have groups available for parents and teens that can help you with this. It is a time for children where self esteem can be low, as they cope with hormones and peers. Remember to give your child some positive feed back daily, this can be something as simple as telling them that they look good as they leave for school.
It is very easy as parents to blame yourself for every mistake your child makes. Remember that your child is responsible, and should be held accountable for actions they make.
Relax and remember that you survived your teens as did your parents.
With support of friends and family it is possible to survive this time in your life. Plan your coping mechanisms for the variety of crisis that will occur. Preparation for any event, assuming the event is predictable, will greatly decrease you stress level.
Take the time to enjoy the day for it will not return.
As a mother and a daughter I experience the sandwich generation first hand. I am a registered nurse with over 25 years of experience, I hold certifications as a Certified Fitness Consultant, Personal Trainer as well as a Nutrition and Wellness Specialist. |
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